moonlit-butterflies.net - -

Stop Doing That

Stop trying to deter me from living in Tokyo with every word that comes out of your mouth, Mom! It's really pissing me off. It's to the point where even if I hate it when I get there, I'll stay just to spite you. >_< So infuriating. And I know I won't hate it there. I may not love it, but I know I won't hate it. I love it too much already to ever hate it. I love it all, the good and the bad, and I'm ready to accept both when I move there. So drop it. Leave it be.

If I get one more e-mail about a tsunami or an earthquake I'm going to run through the house screaming and pulling my hair out. You act like I don't know about those things. I'm not stupid. There's no way I could be as obsessed with Japan as I am and not know about the earthquakes. It dumbfounds me that at the bottom of each of those e-mails you write, "Are you sure you want to live there?" YES! YES! YES! YES! I'm SURE! Stop freaking pestering me about it! GAH! I know I'm your oldest child and your only daughter and that you're having trouble with the thought of letting me go, especially halfway around the world. But it's what I want. And it's not like you'll never see me again. So please, please, please stop with all this stuff that is 'bad' or 'wrong with' Tokyo. It won't stop me from going. YOU can't stop me from going. So just give it up now.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Life is Not Fair

Yeah, yeah. I've heard you tell me that a hundred times, Mom. And you know what? I don't care whether life is fair or not. I don't. But this is ridiculous. My mom and dad are taking my grandparents out for dinner tonight along with one of my mom's good friends who is also, believe it or not, a good friend of mine. I can't go. But then she's gives me a list of chores to do today. So basically I can clean half the house, but I'm not allowed to go to dinner with them. That makes sense. Do they consider me not adult enough to go out with adults? They know better than anyone that I'm more mature than anyone my age, and that I prefer hanging out with older people most of the time. This really irks me. It's the second time they've done this. And now I have to go dust, sweep, and clean the bathroom before I can do anything else. Life's not fair. Neither is this.

EDIT: Mwaha. I get to go now. *dances away*

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Prom is Only a Month Away

And I haven't even started on my dress. Grr. I'll have to spend a good chunk of my Spring Break working on it most likely. I don't have a date either. I don't expect to get one. It's not like I want just any date. I'd love life forever if John would ask me. But he won't. And I'll never have the guts to ask him. I think it would be too childish to have my friends talk to him so until one of us builds up some courage, nothing's happening. *sigh*

I've smiled at him in the halls when I get the chance ever since I found out he's not dating that girl. There's always the chance he's dating yet a different girl, but I'd rather not think about that at this point. Anywho, I haven't really gotten a response from him. We just continue to make eye contact every time we pass each other in the halls, just like we did before. It's so frustrating. He looks up to meet my eyes as I look up at him yet neither one of us ever says a freaking word. And I never will. I know I'm too chicken. And apparently so is he. Which sucks.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005

He's No Longer Off Limits

He doesn't have a girlfriend! Gah! At least, not the one I thought he did. Meg and I saw the girl we thought he was dating holding hands with some blonde guy today in the hall. We both just looked at each other in extreme glee. So now Meg wants to talk to John for me again, but I don't know. I need to think, but fast. I can't let weeks go by this time, or he might be taken off the market again. XD So now I must figure out what my move will be. I have to try. At least then the wishful thinking can be out of my way, and I can move on without any regrets or what ifs.

Saturday, March 5, 2005

Happy Days Are Here Again

I'm feeling extremely happy at this point in my life. My friends are the GREATEST. I love you all so, so much. I don't know what I would without each and every one of you, offline and on. I'm content with the way I dress. I dress Japanesy, and I don't care what anyone at school thinks of it. I don't care if one outfit looks preppy while another looks gothic. That's not why I dress the way I do. I do it because it brings me closer to Japan.

I'm more outgoing. My talkativeness doesn't really bother me all that often anymore. My grades are up, my room is so organized that I can't help but feel proud of the job I did cleaning it last month, and I'm reading again. I'm back into all my old internet hobbies, including blogging every day over at m-b.net. My depression seems to be gone for the time being. Gone, gone, gone. *dances around the room to J-pop* : D Right now life couldn't get much better.

Monday, March 21, 2005